You Need To Recognize Your Preferences as the Key To Making Better Decisions

Multiple times throughout the day, each of us decides about our actions from the menu of options available at the time of the choice.

This needs a bit of unpacking. You are reading this right now. You could do something else instead. But reading this showed up on your menu of activities and you did so. This process was in play before you knew about it, and it will continue now that you know about it.

Your preferences, those decisions you consistently, habitually make, are the components that shape your life.

Interestingly, you didn’t just choose to read — you chose with specificity. You chose this article. You chose it from among dozens of other titles that you might have selected. Thank you. I want you to feel it was worthwhile, by giving you something to think about and to carry with you when you’ve finished reading this and you’re ready to move on to your next activity.

That you chose to read, and that you chose this, and not another article, tells you something about yourself. Your preferences, those decisions you consistently, habitually make, are the components that shape your life. Your preferences, perhaps more than anything else, tell you what kind of person you are.

Available options

Not all options are available to choose at all times. Neither of us can fly to the moon, or even across the room under our own power, for instance, even if we desired to do so. For humans, self-powered flying isn’t on the menu of choices. Swimming underwater for more than a couple of minutes without scuba gear isn’t on the menu either.

And, to be certain, there is a catalogue of historical debate amongst philosophers and behaviorists over whether any of us is truly free when we choose any action. That is the age-old debate over “free-will” vs. determinism. This article will not delve too deeply into those questions.

This piece is simply calling attention to the fact that when we act as if we are free to choose, there is something driving and impelling those choices. That something I will call “preference”. There are two or more options available on the menu; and the one we choose is the one we prefer. How could it be otherwise?

I’m writing this now, at this moment, rather than doom-scrolling through Twitter, crawling back into a warm bed, going for a walk in thirty degree drizzle, reading news, turning on the television, etc. I’m writing because it is what I prefer to be doing with this slot of time, energy, and attention more than anything else I could be doing. You are doing the same thing.

Preference isn’t the same as desire

It is important to note that preference does not equal desire. You and I may have many desires that we actually prefer more than our current choice, but our desires don’t always appear on the menu of possibilities. I desire to be walking on a secluded beach with my girlfriend in seventy degree weather with a light breeze in our hair, watching the sun come up over the ocean. But that is not on today’s menu. I’m sure you have desires like that.

Our preferences — not our desires — drive choices. This phenomenon is a fact we experience over and over. This makes the idea of free will feel true. Seen in that light, no one can take away another’s free will, because none can exert power to take away another’s preference, unless they take their life.

One may, by wickedness such as slavery, or punishments such as incarceration, severely limit the menu of options available to an individual. You may wickedly create for them a reality that is a constant choice between the lesser of two evils. With either slave or prisoner, they must choose whether their lot is preferable to the alternative — attempted escape, suicide, etc. But you cannot take away their ability to choose what they prefer from their extremely limited remaining options.

Interpret actions as the expression of preference

This realization has helped me more accurately interpret both my own choices and behaviors and those of others. Watch what someone does or refuses to do. Listen to what they say or refuse to say. You are seeing the external manifestations of their internal preferences, moment by moment, event by event, day by day.

People will offer rationalizations and justifications for what they do. Sometimes they will attempt to absolve themselves of the negative results and feelings their unpopular decisions create. They may wish to evade responsibility for choosing what they preferred by claiming, “they had no other choice.” But you know better…

When you see a person’s actions, you’re seeing what they prefer.

A key to increased happiness

I am overweight because on the whole; I prefer it to the effort and attentiveness necessary to lose the extra pounds. Am I as happy as I’d be if I was fit? No, I’m not. But getting fit is a process — a series of consistent choices. I will never get fit until I prefer those systematic choices to french fries or beer.

This example illustrates the fact that preferential choices happen in the moment. They are often myopic. They are not always contemplative of the long game, unless… unless you put that contemplation purposely on the menu. Which is the purpose of this article — to make you aware of what’s on your menu and why you’re choosing it.

Match principles to preferences

To be sure, I prefer fitness and health to obesity, in general. Doesn’t everyone? — in the abstract? Activity is preferable to lethargy, in general. I prefer self-control to sloth or gluttony, in principle. I’d be surprised if you are any different. Though sometimes, without careful diligence, short-term preferences can override our long-term principles.

One key to a more holistic life, with the resultant increase in happiness, is to cultivate agreement between your genuine long-term principles and your short-term preferences. Make choices more in keeping with the principles you claim to hold dear.

A key then to making better choices is to pick those having a balance of preferred outcomes both in the present and into the future. Assuming, of course, that those kinds of options are on your available menu.

What do you think? Do you see actions as the selection of your “most preferred” available option? Do you think it’s worth to watch yourself, knowing that each choice you make is one of preference moment by moment?

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Previously Published on medium

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